Открытый брак, хорошо ли так?

На сегодняшний день все более распространенным становится «открытый брак». То есть когда муж и жена ведут свободную сексуальную жизнь вне семьи - как правило, по взаимной договоренности. Причем степень «открытости» может быть самая разная - от собственных личных приключений у каждого из супругов до совместных групповых встреч.

Сторонники открытого брака утверждают, что у такого образа жизни масса плюсов. Что прогулка на сторону освежает взаимоотношения супругов. Что многие мужья хотят, чтобы их благоверная привлекала и других мужчин. Что для ощущения собственной неотразимости и мужчине, и женщине необходимо большое количество сексуальных побед. Что открытый брак - единственное средство выживания в семьях, где работа одного из супругов связана с длительными отъездами прочее. Конечно, доля истины в этих утверждениях есть - но только доля!


Живущие в открытом браке больше всего гордятся тем, что не относятся к супругу как к собственности и не ущемляют личностную свободу друг друга. Как бы ни был заманчив открытый брак, у него есть и достаточное количество минусов. Но подводные камни этого брака не видны большинству его сторонников, потому что ловушки здесь расставлены на уровне не сексуальных, а социальных взаимоотношений между людьми.


Минусы «Открытого брака»


1. Стремление к открытому браку в большинстве случаев - следствие не физиологической неудовлетворенности, а психологической и сексуальной незрелости человека.


2. Открытый брак часто предлагается там, где супруги изначально были друг другу чужими или давно разошлись психологически. У них нет никакого желания налаживать взаимоотношения между собой: проще решать свои проблемы каждому отдельно. В таком случае нужен не открытый брак, а обычный развод. Но быть разведенным нравится не каждому, а порой это еще и невыгодно юридически. И чтобы не вредить карьере или не терять жилплощадь, супруги живут каждый своей жизнью, не оформляя развода.


3. Часто ратуют за открытый брак те люди, которые достаточно неуверенны в себе - особенно в своей привлекательности. И думают, что их половина все равно рано или поздно им изменит.


4. Как правило, человек имеет больше шансов достигнуть сексуальной гармонии в устоявшейся паре, чем при беспорядочной смене партнеров. Ведь с каждым новым придется начинать сначала, со стадии привыкания и нахождения общего языка, с вырабатывания общей стратегии достижения интимного удовольствия.


5. Причиной вашего интимного неудовольствия в браке могут быть ваши же собственные проблемы. Причем не только сексуальные, но и социально-психологические. Вы же решаете, что вам просто-напросто нужно попробовать с другими партнерами. И чаще всего в этом случае ничего не изменяется, потому что все ваши собственные проблемы, которые вам и мешают, вы таскаете с собой из одной постели в другую, чтобы они вам мешали и там.


6. Открытый брак чреват психологическими травмами. В первую очередь потому, что супруги бессознательно снимают с себя ответственность друг перед другом, стремятся к полной независимости, и в результате, получив шишек на стороне, чувствуют себя одинокими и брошенными, потому что не к кому обратиться за поддержкой.


7. Открытый брак небезопасен и в плане венерических болезней и побочных детей.

Однако следует помнить, что договориться на уровне слов и логики о таких отношениях нельзя - как минимум потому, что у любого человека помимо сознания существует еще и бессознательное - и никто не сможет предугадать, как он среагирует на подобное изменение брачных отношений. Такие отношения устанавливаются со временем, когда доверие между супругами уже испытано на устойчивость.

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